“I tried to defend myself but between being intoxicated, which I’m also not proud of, and just being embarrassed and confused, I just made it a whole lot worse,” the former Bachelorette, 25, continued. “It wasn’t until the next morning that reality set in and I had said it. At that moment, there was a rush of emotions. … I felt so much shame on me.”
On Saturday, the reality star said, “If I wanted to be my sincerest self, I had to put in some work and I had to go through a process. I think that’s why people are like, ‘Why now? Why did it take me so long?’ “
Brown added, “What I did, I didn’t want it to go away. What I did was something extremely serious and I did not want to continue repeating this long history of white people not taking accountability and responsibility for their actions when people of color, black people, call them out on their behavior. That is something I do not want to be a part of. To do that, I had to understand.”
“To be honest I didn’t know a lot, I don’t want to be ignorant anymore. I don’t want to be an ignorant white girl who uses the N-word, but I also don’t want to be someone who goes onto a platform intoxicated and engages in their platform that way,” she said.
The Dancing with the Stars champion concluded her video with a message to her fans and followers.
“If you want to support me, do not defend me. What I did, what I said was indefensible,” she said. “I don’t need anybody to defend me for what I did because what I said, what I did was wrong. But I’m hoping that what I did was wrong but what I didn’t know even before is the worst part of it, and it’s the ignorance. I’m no longer ignorant and I’m no longer going to be part of the problem.”
Brown vowed, “I will be a part of the solution, and you will see that. From the bottom of my heart, I am so sorry. I’m sorry to everyone I hurt and disappointed. I promise to continue doing better, I promise.”
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