Experimenting with cannabis in the bedroom can be tricky. Is it best to pop an edible? How does THC compare to CBD? Which strains are the best for passionate sex? There are so many questions to ask about the intersection of cannabis and coitus that it can almost feel like a turn-off. Almost.
In an effort to take some of the guesswork out of the whole situation, acclaimed sex and cannabis writer Sophie Saint Thomas teamed up with Kiana Reeves of sensual enhancement CBD brand Foria and cannabis journal-makers Goldleaf to create The Intimacy Journal –– a logbook designed to help you document and analyze your weed-influenced sex and kink experiences. Through guided entry pages, infographics, and an elegant Moleskin-esque presentation, The Intimacy Journal is aimed at helping people explore their sexualities, no matter how experimental or vanilla.
To find out more about pairing sex with cannabis, we chopped it up with Sophie — covering how weed can enhance your sex life, the best methods of ingestion, and where beginners should start when they’re ready to dive in.
How complicated is using weed to enhance sex? Do we really need a journal for that?
The Intimacy Journal is meant to help people find the right cannabis that acts as an aphrodisiac for them. When I say aphrodisiac, I’m speaking pretty broadly because cannabis can do a lot to help sex. Physically it’s a vasodilator, meaning it increases blood flow and that can result in increased blood flow to the genitals and heightened orgasms. It also heightens physical senses, even blurs the physical senses which can create a kind of psychedelic sexual experience.
Research shows that cannabis can help couples bond and create intimacy by lowering our negative bias. It can also increase creativity by increasing divergent thinking. In my experience having used sex and cannabis for about a decade, that means coming up with creative kinky scenarios or new dirty thoughts or just getting kind of goofy in bed.
The problem is that right now we’re seeing in the cannabis industry a hunt to find the cannabis aphrodisiac that everyone can take, but everyone is really, really different. Some people don’t like using weed, just like some people don’t like drinking alcohol. It needs to be catered to different people. Depending on your body weight or your composition, the way five milligrams of an edible is going to hit a petite woman who weighs about 100 pounds vs a 250-pound man is completely different.
So there are issues of strains, dosing, and the length you want to be affected?
Some people prefer a quick hit, or an OG joint, which will have the onset time kick in in a few minutes. Or some people prefer an edible route and they have to wait two hours but for six hours straight they’re going to have this intense experience. I truly believe that what the right cannabis is for you for sex depends on a ton of different factors. What do you need? Do you deal with body issues? Jealousy issues? Or do feel lethargic and lazy and need help enhancing your libido?
Are you trying to connect closer to your partner?
It’s not a one size fits all model.
This journal is meant to speed up that process, it’s meant for you to be able to write down exactly what you took, how much, and how it affected the sexual experience. The good thing about cannabis is it’s very very safe. Even if you get way too high the worst thing that is going to happen is you’re going to be uncomfortable.
This journal is meant to help you gradually learn how your body and relationship act differently from cannabis. Finding the right dosage, method of intake, etc.
Why a physical journal and not an app?
I just love it! An app would be cool but there is something about having a journal. It’s a little raunchy that you’re keeping a logbook of your sexual conquests. It’s not on an app, where that info can potentially be shared. You can hide it, you can use it with your partner.
I might just be old school but I really just like having something laid out in real life.
Can you go into the science of how cannabis helps to enhance sex?
We need more science. A lot more. Until it is no longer a Schedule 1 drug and continues to be criminalized on a federal level, that won’t happen, unfortunately, because so many research grants depend on the federal government. Old school Reagan-era America is still afraid of pot and sex. Something I’ve been excited to do with Goldleaf and Foria is to do our own research on this. Getting surveys out and looking at that data and using that data to put together the book.
Let’s start with physically. What we do know about cannabis is that it’s an anti-inflammatory. It can be useful in suppositories and topicals, but then it has to connect directly with the mucus membrane so that just works on vaginas and anally, the penis isn’t made the same way. It can be a really great pain reliever. Cannabis suppositories and lubricants have been what has been missing in anal sex preparation in terms of making the area more comfortable and loosened up. If you go to a CVS you can get lubes with numbing agents but they tend to numb you out to the point where even if bodily harm is happening you can’t feel it. Cannabis’ pain reliving properties are a bit more subtle, so I feel a lot safer using it in that sense.
If we’re speaking about THC, just the euphoria from a classic high adds on an extra layer of sensitivity. There have been studies that show it reduces negative thinking and helps you see things in a more positive outlook. That can be really, really wonderful in sex. Instead of being down in this nagging place, you can be really appreciative. Having sex with someone when you feel like you appreciate them is a lot more fun.
We named this “Intimacy Journal” because that emotional and mental aspect is really important. The best way that cannabis enhances my sex life is it lowers my anxiety and helps me stay in the moment. But everyone is different. Some don’t want to stick with the psychoactive properties and those people should give CBD a try to reduce any anxieties.
In terms of increasing arousal is there a preferred delivery method? Or is that dependent on the person?
Totally dependent on the person and the setting, which is why they are included in the journal. My primary partner isn’t a huge cannabis user, he prefers a glass or two of wine. So with him, I’ll take my 10mg beforehand — because I know it’ll feel better and edibles for me are my favorite. I like the intensity it gives. I have a high tolerance so I can handle the high. I really like it for social situations. We have a fair amount of group sex or women we are dating together. If I know I’m going to be having sex for the next six hours and my partners aren’t into cannabis as much as I am, an edible is the easiest way to feel that arousal without imposing on them.
But having said that, you can’t share edibles the way you pass a joint, so if my boyfriend does want to smoke, and we want to sit on the couch and share a joint together and get goofy and get touchy, you can do that too. I can’t replicate that experience by taking capsules from the dispensary. The answer is that there are definitely many, many ways.
In terms of CBD vs THC which is more likely to increase arousal?
I think that would depend on the person. However, we have to remember that not all CBD is created equal. The Farm Bill passed — which means anyone in any state can grow hemp and as long as the CBD they harvest from that hemp contains less than 0.3% THC then it’s safe to sell as CBD. But with that, we’re getting a lack of regulation. We might get a product that just says hemp oil and that means they pressed oil from that hemp plant but it’s not CBD oil, there are trace amounts so you can still sell it as CBD because it’s a technicality. So there could be harmful stuff like pesticides.
The best way that CBD has been shown to act in research is when it’s taken in conjunction with THC. Those are only two cannabinoids, there are over 113! The Entourage Effect is important — the best CBD has a little bit of THC in it, but that doesn’t have to be enough to get you high at all.
Unfortunately, in non-legal states like New York, unless you have a medical card you can’t really get that, so people sell CBD Isolate. I don’t want to say that that’s bad, because some prefer it, but it’s certainly not the best. Make sure to do research, use Weedmaps or Leafly to vet CBD products because there is a lot of bad shit out there.
If there is a couple who wants to start experimenting with weed in the bedroom, where is a good place to start?
Start with a joint. It’s so classic. It’s straight-up marijuana. In the world of tinctures and capsules and vapes, it’s pretty rare to just walk around and smoke a joint, but it’s kind of the purest experience of smoking marijuana. With COVID, obviously, you should consider something else, but there is a quick onset time. You feel it instantly, and it goes away quickly. If you do get too high it’s not going to be hours of waiting it out like with an edible.
Sharing joint with your partner is an intimate and fun experience. If you’re brand new to it go with that. If you really want to use it for amazing sex though I would recommend edibles. Start small with five mg. If you don’t feel it in two hours, have another five. Edibles go throughout your whole body and give you such an intense body experience it’s hard to beat it.
But this is important: Stoned sex can be amazing with yourself. You don’t need a partner. If you feel comfortable, try a topical or an edible when you’re alone. You don’t have to worry about anyone else or feel self-conscious about being too high. Solo play is definitely the way to go, it’s safe, responsible, and a fun way to start experimenting on your own.