When the vacations roll round, I inevitably start desirous about the brand new yr and planning my resolutions. I get excited for a clear slate and a recent begin and the concept I might make the subsequent yr the very best yr ever. However whereas I genuinely love setting targets, I usually really feel discouraged by the point January arrives, as a result of with out fail, itemizing out the issues I need to change about myself and my habits turns into an train in self-criticism. I do not need to waste my treasured vitality and time desirous about all the issues I hate about myself, so this yr, I’m reframing my targets.
I do not need to waste my treasured vitality and time desirous about all the issues I hate about myself.
As I began desirous about what I need my 2020 to appear to be, I made a decision that, somewhat than resolving to do issues like cease consuming sugar, I’d crowd out my “bad” habits with good ones. It is a small however important shift, as a result of as an alternative of taking issues away, I’m including issues to my day that assist the way in which I need to stay. This eliminates the method of criticizing what I have never carried out, and as an alternative reframes my targets into one thing optimistic.
For instance, I’ve a behavior of craving espresso in the afternoon. I get drained, and somewhat afternoon pick-me-up sounds so good, although I do know it is not the healthiest selection. As an alternative of resolving by no means to have a day espresso once more, I’m aiming to drink 100 ounces of water throughout the day. Which means I’ll hopefully be well-hydrated and never as sleepy, and will not really feel the necessity to have a day deal with. Equally, I’ve determined to begin studying for 20 minutes each evening, which ought to assist me in the reduction of on the quantity of tv I watch. And as an alternative of criticizing myself for being lazy, I’m making it a objective to go to yoga on Monday, Thursday, and Saturday afternoons.
I like this method for thus many causes. Initially, it feels extra joyful to select issues I need to do to enhance my life than to strive to take issues away. It will get me out of the headspace the place I really feel vital of what I’m doing and overwhelmed by the variety of issues I want to cease. It additionally ensures I will by no means really feel disadvantaged. Secondly, I do know myself: if I begin studying for 20 minutes as an alternative of sitting down to watch TV, I do know I’m seemingly to learn for much longer as a result of I actually do take pleasure in it. And since good habits beget different good habits, as soon as I get the ball rolling on a couple of issues, I will inevitably discover different issues I need to strive.
Lastly, I do know this method feels higher for me as a result of it’s one that’s born out of self-love, somewhat than self-hatred. Once I add issues to my life that profit me mentally, bodily, and emotionally, it seems like I’m loving and caring for myself, somewhat than diminishing no matter I used to be doing earlier than. Including good habits would not really feel like strong-arming myself right into a brand-new model of me. As an alternative, it seems like self-care and delicate encouragement to strive issues that may really feel higher in the long term. Do I hope that I’ll ultimately exchange my afternoon cellphone scrolling with a yoga class most of the time? In fact. However framing it this manner will definitely make me really feel a lot happier in the brand new yr, that is a objective price pursuing.