With the way these past few weeks have been, it was sort of a relief to have a mellow one this past week. That’s not to say the week was quiet – can we even live without small gbas gbos? Check out what went down this week.
Self Promoting Customs Officer
In this life, when you’re growing up, they tell you to be determined, to shoot for the stars, possess your possession(!), go after what you want, take it and not wait for the world to hand it to you. But when you do just that, they arrest you and say your head is not correct.
That is the case of ASCU Nura Dalhatu who decided he was tired of his position in the Nigerian Customs. What did he do? He promoted himself to the role of Comptroller General of Customs and resumed the CGC’s office on Monday to assume the role. What a determined, courageous man!
But Dalhatu is confined to seeing a doctor now sha, because that kind of courage, my friends, is not normal. Don’t try this at home.
Honestly, i love the courage displayed by ASC Nura Dalhatu, this shows how patriotic and curious he is to take the Nigeria customs to the next level.
I know a lot will see his action as being power drunk or under the influence of drug but i don’t think the same. pic.twitter.com/aDFIG0GY48
— Aliyu Abdullahi Gunigi (@abubillaal) July 8, 2019
ASC Nura Dalhatu , form Katsina (presidential relative) decided that he couldn’t take it anymore, promoted his entitled self as the CGC and properly outfitted he resumed work this morning to take over from Ahmad Alli at the Customs HQ Abuja. pic.twitter.com/qexdmzfueX
— @WhiteLion (@pulseafricamag) July 8, 2019
Truth is many are mad and some are wearing uniforms. Mans was relaxed, looked ready to address a press conference. Handsome guy. His court marshal will be so much fun to follow! 😆😆😆 pic.twitter.com/7greGWLC5c
— Gbenga Olorunpomi (@GbengaGOLD) July 8, 2019
I hope they handle the case properly. It is a mental health issue. He should be treated not court-martialed. He is sick.
— Olukayode bakre (@kayodebakre8) July 8, 2019
No, I don’t think so. I suspect he has been scammed. I remember @DrJoeAbah got a strange call sometimes last year from the “The SGF’s office” asking him to send his name for a Ministerial slot.
— Chydos (@Cherez02) July 8, 2019
Picture of the Assistant Superintendent of Customs identified as Nura Dahiru who showed up today at NCS HQ wearing the rank of a Deputy Comptroller General who claimed that he was directed by PMB to take over from Col. Hamid Ali. This guy’s confidence is legendary pic.twitter.com/ATP4x8u6Pt
— Matawalle (@__Muhermmerd) July 8, 2019
The Senator Whose Head Is Actually Not Correct
Or why else will you apologise for something, claim responsibility, and enter court and say, No oo, no be me do am.
(Also, Are the youths in this country even ready if their reaction to seeing a self-confessed woman beater [in court!] is to start taking selfies with him?)
But it’s even more than him pleading not guilty. It’s how, during his senate disciplinary hearing, he started sparking for a member of the panel, who, of course, was the only woman on the panel.
How did Elisha Abbo accept guilt in public, apologize for the infraction and still plead not guilty in court? What did they charge him with? Murder? How did his lawyers advice him? Or maybe my law is just rusty @DrJoeAbah
— Sesugh Ugbor (@SUgbor) July 8, 2019
Cases like this make you wonder whether there’s hope as big as a pinch of sand left.
How can you acknowledge your actions on camera and plead with your fellow citizens to forgive you only for you to plead not guilty in court
Nigeria is a Joke! We aren’t ok!
— 🌙🌙Ramadan Al Kareem🌙🌙 (@Ay_teey) July 8, 2019
Senator Elisha Abbo pleaded ‘Not Guilty’ in court when there’s video evidence & public admittance of guilt.
— EiE Nigeria (@EiENigeria) July 9, 2019
I’m certain that if Senator Tinubu were a man, Nigerian men won’t find what she said to Abbo ”condescending” and ”disrespectful.” Abbo still isn’t remorseful and Senator Tinubu firmly exercising her position within the ambit of the law is what some of you can’t stand. Lol. https://t.co/HTsVgTXt6X
— Bernard Dayo (@BernardDayo) July 10, 2019
1. How many women are in the room?
2. The men cautioned the only woman in the room but didn’t caution the senator Abbo one bit.
3. Video is not complete but Tinubu was surely responding to how he addressed the rest of them (the men agreed with her).
4. He kept interrupting her https://t.co/nZdXFMQySV
— Oluyomi Ojo (@OluyomiOjo) July 10, 2019
So some youths were struggling to take a selfie with Senator Senator Elisha Abbo that was arraigned for Assault. 🤦
We can blame, Obasanjo, Buhari all we like, but we the youths we’re not ready. pic.twitter.com/z2ZtoWINVb
— The Osas Cruz (@OsasWrite) July 9, 2019
Something is worrying Nigerians,Elisha Abbo slapped a woman ON CAMERA and people are mad because Remi Tinubu didn’t talk to him with “respect”. She has every right to talk to him the way she did;it’s a DISCIPLINARY hearing and he disrespected every senator through his actions. pic.twitter.com/wu7xNC7azs
— Esther 🌺 (@SimplyAYT_) July 9, 2019
This Elisha Abbo Clifford Ishaku has anger issues. And it does appear the foolishness of his years as a baby refused to grow alongside his body. If he behaves like this in front of all these cameras, what does he do when the doors are locked? I hope he doesn’t have a gun license https://t.co/gONKEqPULO
— JJ. Omojuwa (@Omojuwa) July 9, 2019
So, because it is Remi Tinubu dishing questions and standing her ground. All you can think of is respect/disrespect. Elisha Abbo is not sober of what he did. That is a disciplinary committee, let them do their JOB.
— Lau Lau 😁 (@LauryyMama) July 9, 2019
Reekado Banks and the Live TV Caller
Okay, guys, it was a prank. It was all a joke. It wasn’t real.
Still, though, it was hilarious.
The first clip that circulated on social media was cut to imply that our fave Reekado Banks was ambushed on a live TV show by a woman he had had sex with and whose calls he refused to pick after.
Reekado Banks was like ???
“So you had sex with me and you did not call me back?”
One of the presenters was like, Eh? Then they said it was a wrong number. Aunty said, No oo, every one knows Reekado Banks abeg.
The longer video revealed that they were in on it though. But the shorter one was funner to watch, we won’t lie.
It is truly a problem when a media platform begins to pursue shock value at the expense of an artistes’ image.
So that was a prank call on a tv show, it was funny then , but I do not like where this is headed!
— REEKADO BANKS (@ReekadoBanks) July 9, 2019
Unknown caller: Reekado banks so you had sex with me and couldn’t call me again
— Trouble Marker 😒(G.O) (@ObongRoviel) July 9, 2019
Why this babe go do this to Reekado Banks now, Leeeemaooooo 😂😂😂
Guys, watched this 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 pic.twitter.com/GtGCbVEUCG
— Otunba ICE 💎 (@ManLikeIcey) July 9, 2019
Caller : you had sex with me and refused to call back…
Presenters : Wrong number
*Reekado Banks when passing by and is being ask to come for another live interview *: pic.twitter.com/nKSmdh1deX
— Daddy Long Legs👽 (@himmahjesusjnr) July 9, 2019
*Reekado banks during interview*
female caller: You had sex with me and you didn’t call me back,…you didn’t answer my texts
Reekado Banks: pic.twitter.com/15eK8v6VJJ
— Blvk_Dan (@danny_whilde) July 9, 2019
Reekado Banks after the interview trying to remember all the babes he has slept with to recognize the caller’s voice…
— Omoniyi Israel (@omoissyy) July 9, 2019
Super Eagles Did It For the High DSTV Price
Honestly, someone needs to find out how the South Africans became one of the favourites to win Afcon this year. In what version of the universe?
Anyway, the Super Eagles helped them return to reality after decking them 2 – 1 in their quarter final match. People have said it was revenge for the high DSTV subscription fees, for xenophobia, for MTN, for the rap industry. We say: we’ll take anyone!
Dear South Africa,
No matter where you go. Remember the road that will lead you home.😂
Bode Thomas, Nigeria. pic.twitter.com/vKNj0rzkja
— Omoniyi Israel (@omoissyy) July 10, 2019
South Africa beat hosts & favorites Egypt, then were hoping to beat Nigeria, but mkholele patela kasala msobuthi kpafuka.
— Ovie (@OvieO) July 10, 2019
South Africa : we will beat Nigeria. We did it before
— koonlay (@This_is_koonlay) July 10, 2019
If you missed Nigeria versus South Africa, here are the highlights. pic.twitter.com/qQw8Dmj1QS
— Slake (@Cerebrone) July 10, 2019
Dear @MultiChoiceSA , it’s time to cut off the DSTV connection in Nigeria, let’s make them watch the remaining AFCON games on twitter. #NGARSA #AFCON2019 . I’m kidding, congratulations to the Super Eagles of Nigeria pic.twitter.com/iUlblDAf3T
— Zito (@6ixty6ixxx) July 10, 2019
It’s a hard pill to swallow man. We keep on losing to Nigeria in every way. 💔
— AKA (@akaworldwide) July 10, 2019
We should have just lost to Egypt … rather than Nigeria.
— AKA (@akaworldwide) July 10, 2019
AKA actually called Nigeria their “biggest rival”
Lmaoo a team that only scored their first Afcon goal against us today
Alaye koshi danu 😂😂😂
— JAGS (@EtniesJags) July 10, 2019
I appreciate Nigeria scoring more than just 1 goal against South Africa.
First one For MTN charging 32k for Sims back then.
— The Kingmaker🦉 (@SmithVinci) July 10, 2019
Hey @DSTV, don’t forget to repeat the Nigeria v South Africa game tomorrow. I want to see some things again.
— JJ. Omojuwa (@Omojuwa) July 10, 2019
Divine Oduduru Finds Divine Favour
(Isn’t it crazy how that could be two Nigerian names up there?)
The people have said it already: there are some places that your village people can’t chase you to. In fact, your village people are local, their gragra cannot enter plane to follow you. Or, you know, sometimes, your village people might just be your *coughs* government.
For sure, Divine Oduduru never experred this his Puma endorsement when he started out. But just look at him now!
Getting out of a toxic relationship does wonders. https://t.co/VgkEmqBLgw
— Boogey (@BoogeyThat) July 12, 2019
YOU DON’T HAVE SPIRITUAL PROBLEMS, THERE’S NOBODY TYING YOUR DESTINY, THE DEVIL IS NOT AFTER YOU!
THE SOCIETY WE HAVE BUILT WITH OUR HANDS AND MINDSET IS RESTRICTING US FROM REACHING OUR FULL POTENTIALS.
NIGERIA LOOK AT YOUR SONS LIFE AND WAKE THE FUCK UP! https://t.co/zEbmizEdjt
— FILMMAKER (@DirectorSolomon) July 12, 2019
May God deliver you from every country holding you back from fulfilling purpose and achieving your dreams in life 🙏🏽 https://t.co/Ztw7BfDqpl
— Dr. Dípò Awójídé (@OgbeniDipo) July 12, 2019
Sometimes, you don’t have family issues, there’s no generational curse plaguing you. Just change your space! https://t.co/S14XGM3sMb
— A (@Tyekooon) July 12, 2019
Aswear, Nigeria Government is our ‘Village People’… all of us living in Nigeria. https://t.co/JLNENJucqq
— Olayinka Ahmed (@YinkaDTC) July 12, 2019
i can’t explain how happy i am for divine, he’s super hardworking.
he deserves it & more ❤️ https://t.co/5ySCaNSnEL
— JJ (@juiciestofjays) July 12, 2019
This is for everyone hustling hard but still in an abusive relationship with Nigeria, soon soon relationship status will change https://t.co/ViKJuxEnLt
— Bundayy Olayinka (@BundayyO) July 13, 2019
I’ve never been happier for someone I don’t know. Wow. https://t.co/20Utkd2teX
— SweetieFromTheInternet (@KingSweetiee) July 12, 2019
I love seeing news about this guy, it’s usually 100% positive lol what a Lad! Truly happy for him https://t.co/Hi1KiFcOXe
— Tonte (@tontebriggs) July 12, 2019
“I worked for it and I got it “ https://t.co/TXlFf4coOJ
— Jonathan brown (@jwbrown235) July 13, 2019
I’m always so happy to see this guy in the news. He represents what the average Nigerian can achieve anywhere if given the opportunity. https://t.co/zCYNcuINRx
— Mona Moxie (@mona_moxie) July 12, 2019
Lesley Nneka Arimah Brings Home the Caine Prize
We especially love the small dig at the presidency after they sent their congratulations.
After being shortlisted twice, Lesley Nneka Arimah won the Caine Prize for African Writing, and as fans of hers since her Commonwealth win, we couldn’t be more glad.
The whole of Nigeria is glad, too. Who knew Nigerians cared this much about literature? Let’s hope they actually start to read it now.
Thank you, Mr. President. I hope this story encourages a discussion on the treatment of women in Nigeria. https://t.co/JuPi9p8ph8
— Lesley Nneka Arimah (@larimah) July 11, 2019
STATE HOUSE PRESS RELEASE
PRESIDENT BUHARI CONGRATULATES NIGERIAN WRITER, LESLEY NNEKA ARIMAH FOR WINNING 2019 CAINE PRIZE
— Presidency Nigeria (@NGRPresident) July 9, 2019
Lesley Nneka Arimah is sublimely talented, and she deserves every single accolade she receives and many more. It’s a special time to be a reader of fiction by black women.
— Bim Adewunmi (@bimadew) July 8, 2019
It’s been a while since I’ve read something that I’ve simply fallen into, settled into like Lesley Nnaka Arimah’s short story “Skinned”. So, so good. So deserving of the Caine Prize.
— Rufaro* (@Rufaro_Samanga) July 12, 2019
Okay, so maybe the week wasn’t so mellow then. If we missed anything out, as usual, let us know in the comment section. Enjoy your weekend!