We all hear about them—selfish, manipulative men walking around. But what is a narcissistic man like in reality? And, how can you avoid them?
Narcissism is big news these days. It seems that the term came out of nowhere. In reality, narcissism has been around for as long as people. We simply didn’t have an actual name for it. So, what is a narcissistic man like in reality?
Understanding Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)
A truly narcissistic person actually has a personality disorder, called Narcissistic Personality Disorder, or NPD, for short. This type of person is rare but only because true narcissists don’t tend to seek treatment. Why? Because they don’t think they need help, they think everyone else does.
That means a frightening fact is true. There are many true narcissists walking around this planet, causing emotional havoc, and not understanding why.
Of course, there is treatment for NPD, in the form of therapy, but again, very few narcissists actually go through it. The future is not very bright relationship-wise for a narcissist, but this man is not going to understand or realize, because they actually don’t really care.
I should point out that there are a lot of narcissistic women walking around too, but I’m going to focus on men in this chat. The reason being we hear so much about this rather common species, and it’s important to be on the lookout for them. Remember, the traits I’m going to mention work just as much for narcissistic women too.
So, what is a narcissistic man like? First we need to figure out what this condition is.
What is narcissism?
Narcissism is a personality disorder which affects the way a person behaves and feels. While true narcissism is rare, there are countless people who have traits pertaining to the condition.
A narcissistic man is not someone you want a relationship with. How do I know this? Because I did it, and it’s not something I’m in a rush to repeat.
Yes, a narcissistic man has a condition, but that does not mean you can save him. Countless people make this assumption and stay in relationships which make them miserable, but the bottom line is that you cannot cure his problem, only he can, and even then he’s extremely unlikely to go through the therapy treatment required to rewire his brain.
The man traits of a narcissistic man *or woman* are:
– Inflated sense of self-importance
– Low self-esteem, although they will never admit it
– The common use of manipulation techniques, including gaslighting
– Always wanting the very best of everything
– Assuming their opinion is right and everyone else is wrong
– A tendency to put others down to make themselves look and feel better
– Extreme difficulties in maintaining friendships and relationships longterm
– An inability to show love in the regular way, e.g. through genuine affection
– You could describe him as a control freak
These are just a few of the most common traits you’ll see a narcissistic man showing. There are some which show worse traits, and there are different types of narcissists to know about too. I’m not going to go into those in too much detail, because the very worst type, the malignant narcissist, is someone you never want to meet even once in your life. This type of man is spiteful and petty, someone who will cause you extreme emotional damage.
Warning aside however, it is entirely possible to break free from a narcissistic relationship, but it takes time, effort, and support. Again, I can say this confidently because I speak from experience.
What is a narcissistic man like in reality?
You might wonder why anyone would stay with a man showing these types of traits. It’s an easy assumption to make, and probably a right one from the outside. The thing is, they’re not like that at the start. They’re like a wolf in sheep’s clothing.
A narcissistic man will be the epitome of charming at the beginning. He will lasso you in with his charm, wit, kindness, and sense of humor. It’s only when he’s pretty sure you’re totally emotionally hooked, that he will let the act drop and become his true self. [Read: Narcissists and empaths, and why they’re a match made in dating hell]
Again, you’re probably reading that and thinking that a narcissistic man is truly evil, but that’s an unfair description. Remember, a narcissistic man *or woman* has a true condition, and they do not choose to act in this way consciously. They simply don’t know any other way. Of course, that doesn’t excuse the way they act and the pain and upset they cause people, but it’s not fair to label them evil.
Once you are emotionally hooked, his true colors will show, but he will not do this immediately or all at once. There will be small signs that all is not well. For instance, he might tell you that the outfit you’re wearing doesn’t suit you, destroying your self-confidence in that moment and causing you to cancel your night out with friends.
As a result, he’s making you reliant on him and alienating you from your circle. He might do something and then when you question him on it, he’ll deny all knowledge. He will tell you that you’re imagining again. And you begin to question your own sanity. This is classic gas-lighting, one of the most commonly used manipulation tactics by narcissists in general. [Read: 16 clear signs you’re hooked in a narcissistic relationship]
Just as you reach the point where you think that there’s something a little wrong and questioning why he’s treating you this way when he claims to love you, he will notice your doubt. Then, he will switch back to his original, charming self. [Read: The 3 stages to explain why someone blows hot and cold]
You see, at his very core, a narcissistic man has self-esteem issues and relies on your neediness of him to validate his worth. Despite that he has an inflated sense of self-importance in terms of his views, his ability, and his appearance. It’s a total contradiction, and that’s what makes narcissism so difficult to understand, unless you’ve seen it first hand.
Many of my friends ask “what is a narcissistic man like?” It’s almost like they’re asking about a mythical creature, someone they’ve yet to meet. The chances are you’ve already met one, and you’re now steering clear of them. This could be a work colleague who is never wrong, and always associates themselves with management to look good, or it could be a friend who was always putting others down to make themselves look better. Narcissists appear in all walks of life, not just in romantic situations. [Read: How to beat a narcissist and win over their manipulation]
How to break free from a narcissistic man
If you’re suffering at the hands of a narcissistic man, I urge you to leave. It’s easier said than done, I know, but surround yourself with friends and family and find it within yourself to realize you deserve better. After that, go, ride out the storm, and don’t look back. [Read: 23 secret signs of narcissism people overlook until it’s too late]
What is a narcissistic man like? Someone who will never change, that’s what. You might think he will, you might think you can help him change, but the truth is that it’s impossible. Unless he opens his eyes, understands his problem, admits he is wrong *never going to happen*, and gets help, you’re staring at the way your relationship is always going to be.
Don’t you deserve better?
If you wonder what is a narcissistic man like, he will ruin your life if you let him. Coming to the final realization that someone you love is indeed narcissistic can be tough, but it’s vital to acknowledge and confirm it, in order to set yourself free.
The post What Is a Narcissistic Man Like & How to Recognize his Rotten Core is the original content of LovePanky – Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.