Plainly the time period “narcissist” is a sizzling subject as of late, however have you ever ever stopped to take into consideration what causes narcissism within the first place?
We frequently hear the phrase “narcissist” bandied about as of late. In actuality, true narcissism is sort of uncommon. Nevertheless, whenever you come into contact with an precise narcissist, there will probably be little doubt. And it would make you marvel, what causes narcissism?
Why is narcissism on the rise?
The cause we hear the phrase a lot is as a result of there may be a lot of cruelty on this planet. Folks deal with others badly: mendacity, dishonest, manipulating, and all of this causes ache and heartache for these unfortunate sufficient to have fallen for somebody with such negativity of their coronary heart. Narcissism in a relationship isn’t any simple process. Most unions that are touched by narcissism don’t really survive.
It’s laborious to stay in a “loving” relationship whenever you’re consistently being dragged down and manipulated.
[Read: The secret signs of narcissism you shouldn’t overlook]
When you’re in a relationship with a narcissist, you might have my sympathy. I’ve been on this state of affairs and consider me, it’s not a state of affairs I’d need to be in once more. It’s terrible to be torn between loving somebody who’s so great to you one minute and merciless the following. You don’t know the place you actually stand, and you haven’t any concept should you’re imagining half of it or not.
Whether or not you’re touched by a narcissistic relationship or not, it’s necessary to perceive what narcissism really is at its very core. So, what causes narcissism. What is it precisely?
What is narcissism?
A real narcissist has a persona dysfunction, known as Narcissistic Character Dysfunction, or NPD. This isn’t a psychological sickness, however a behavioral problem, and falls beneath the umbrella of persona problems.
A narcissist has a distinct lack of empathy. Earlier than you bounce on the bandwagon and label all narcissists as dangerous folks, it’s really one thing they’ll’t assist. They don’t know the way to love and really feel empathy in direction of different folks, as a result of they’ve by no means felt it of their lives.
They’re incapable of exhibiting actual emotion, and their lack of empathy causes them to unwittingly damage others. On the coronary heart of all of it is usually a lack of self-confidence and low self-worth too.
[Read: Why narcissists do the selfish things they do]
A narcissistic individual often shows the next traits:
– An inflated sense of self, e.g. they’ve a excessive opinion of themselves on the skin, however typically don’t actually really feel it genuinely on the within
– Not often admit they’re improper
– Normally worth their very own opinion as reality, and doesn’t contemplate anybody else’s views as legitimate
– Doesn’t take criticism nicely and might typically lash out
– Flip all the pieces round to keep away from taking blame
– Use manipulative techniques so as to guarantee others keep shut to them and do as they please, that is often by means of gaslighting, i.e. making another person begin to query themselves and their very own sanity [Read: 14 signs someone’s gaslighting and playing mind games with you]
– Controlling habits
These are simply a few of the most typical narcissistic traits you’ll come throughout within the common stroll of life. When you’re in a relationship with a narcissist, one other widespread trait is isolating you from the folks in your life, e.g. household and mates. It’s because they see these folks as threats and wish to hold you firmly of their management.
The end result of a narcissistic relationship isn’t significantly rosy. You may want me to inform you that love can conquer all, however whenever you’re caught in the midst of a state of affairs which drags you down, it’s laborious to see something brilliant or sunny.
Narcissists have no idea how to love in the identical approach as somebody who doesn’t have narcissism. They really feel one thing, but it surely’s not the “I’d do anything for you” form of love that almost all of us really feel. It’s extra egocentric and one-sided.
That brings us as soon as extra to the concept that narcissists are dangerous folks. It’s laborious to argue in opposition to it, however perceive that there isn’t a selection in whether or not somebody is narcissistic or not. They merely are as a result of they’ve a persona dysfunction. So, what causes narcissism and all of this ache and heartache? [Read: 16 subtle hints narcissist give away as soon as you meet them]
Do we all know what causes narcissism?
The excellent news is that we all know what narcissism is, the dangerous information is that there isn’t a 100% correct rationalization of what causes narcissism. There are a few concepts that are backed up by research, however simply as we don’t actually perceive what causes any persona dysfunction, it nonetheless stays a little bit of a thriller.
Each individual is totally different which suggests one measurement descriptions don’t match all.
Regardless of that, researchers contemplate the next to be probably the most possible causes of narcissism:
– Genetic points
– Points which occurred in childhood, e.g. poor parenting
– Psychological points
– Being praised an excessive amount of once they have been kids
– Dad and mom who targeted an excessive amount of on seems to be or expertise and didn’t focus sufficient on giving love
– Traumatic experiences
– A historical past of extreme criticism
Narcissists aren’t essentially born with NPD, and it could possibly develop due to issues all through life. Normally, that is what occurs, however there may be little or no proof to actually conclude X, Y, and Z as the principle precursors to NPD.
Can narcissism be cured?
There is no such thing as a remedy for NPD, however there are some therapeutic strategies which might cut back the signs and rewire the mind.
That’s the excellent news. [Read: How to date a narcissist and teach them to change for the better]
The dangerous information is that there are only a few narcissists who really consider there may be something improper with them. They assume there’s something improper with you as a substitute. Meaning they’re unlikely to search the assistance they want.
To efficiently deal with NPD, step one should come from the narcissist themselves. They need to ask for assist and freely admit there may be a downside. From there, effort and time wants to be invested in strategies to change their ideas and behaviors. It’s not a straightforward street, and it takes a very long time to get to the purpose the place any progress is made.
This entire image makes it not possible that somebody with NPD will ever be actually “cured.” [Read: How to hurt a narcissist – 11 subtle counterblows to hurt them hard]
So, what about your relationship?
I’ve talked a lot about narcissism and what causes it, however what about your relationship? Is there a future?
As a result of we don’t actually know what causes narcissism, it’s laborious to pinpoint a approach to handle the issue. And most narcissists don’t really consider there’s something improper with them. It paints a fairly poor image on your future.
A relationship with a narcissist means by no means actually figuring out which facet of your associate you’ll see. It could possibly be the charming facet, or it could possibly be the manipulative nasty facet. After you’ve been privy to their manipulative techniques, you’ll doubt your personal ideas, and end up remoted from these you care about. [Read: 23 secret signs of narcissism people overlook until it’s too late]
You would possibly suppose I’m exhibiting you the worst case state of affairs, but it surely’s really the most typical state of affairs.
A relationship with a narcissist is painful, and except you need to stay in ache, there’ll come a level the place it is best to stroll away.
Sadly, I’m certified to advise you on this as a result of I used to be in the identical state of affairs. Okay, your associate isn’t a dangerous individual at their core and so they have a persona dysfunction which explains their downside, however that doesn’t imply it’s essential to dwell with fixed lies, twisted reality, name-calling, manipulation, and gaslighting both. Put your personal happiness first.
[Read: The narcissist and the empath – and why they’re a match made in dating hell]
Additional research will inform us what causes narcissism for certain, however for now, we should always concentrate on the results reasonably than the trigger.
The publish What Causes Narcissism? The Facts & Theories to Read a Narcissist is the unique content material of LovePanky – Your Information to Higher Love and Relationships.